FORGIVEN By Yvonne Harrison WPH Sec

FORGIVEN

I'm accepted

By Rob Hayward

I'm accepted, I'm forgiven

I am fathered by the true and living God

I'm accepted, no condemnation
I am loved by the true and living God

There's no guilt or fear as I draw near
To the Saviour and Creator of the world
There is joy and peace

As I release my worship to You, O Lord

© 1985 Kingsway Thank you Music 

I had sung this song at church on many occasions, with heartfelt gratitude for my salvation through Jesus Christ.  Until I had another reason to sing it this time with conviction, because I knew, that I knew that, that I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was truly accepted and forgiven.  Prior to that day I knew God’s acceptance and forgiveness of me, however, I didn’t realise there was one other person that needed to be accepted and forgiven…

What is wrong with me,  I’ve got everything I’ve asked for and more; a strong relationship with the Lord,  loving family and friends,  I go to a good church, have a job I enjoyed and a great social life so why was I feeling this way? I felt so low it hurt; no matter what I tried I could not shake the mood.  I was in a pit of despair and had been there for a few days.  I managed to reassure my concerned family and friends that I was ‘fine’ just a little under the weather.  I’d kept them at bay or so I thought, until I received a phone call from my dearest Sister in Christ.  I was undone, she saw right through my ‘I’m fine just a little under the weather act.’  No matter how hard I tried there was no stopping her she was coming right over.  Help me Lord, I prayed in vain hope that she’d change her mind.  

The door was opened by a dishevelled character (yep that was me!)  Come on, you’d look and smell bad too if you hadn’t showered for a few days!!  She greeted me with a big warm hug, which took me off guard.  Come on she said, I’m taking you out, I tried to argue knowing how futile it would be, but I gave it a good shot.  There was no way on earth that I was leaving the house in the state I was in…

I had no idea where she was taking me; singing joyfully along as she drove ignoring the daggers I was throwing her, she drove through the gate of Aylesford Priory, here we are she said.  A little gasp escaped as I took in the beauty of the place.

 She led me to one of the chapels; it was small, warm and quiet and had a smell of incense about it.  She took a seat on the front pew and beckoned me to follow suit.  Right she said you’re going to speak to God and find out what the problem is; we’re not leaving until you’ve dealt with it.  Meanwhile, I’ll be praying for you. 

I sat there for what seemed an age not wanting to speak to God, finally I asked what is wrong with me?  A clear response resounded in my ears “UNFORGIVENESS.”  I looked around no one was there I looked over at my Sister and she was deep in prayer.  Unforgiveness, Me, you’ve got to be joking; we’ve been through this already.  Yes He said UNFORGIVENESS.  I sat there stunned.   I obviously taken leave of my senses as I started to argue with Him, I said I know and follow Your Word it says:

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

 (Col 3:13 NIV).

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?  Jesus answered, I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

(Mat 18:21-22 NIV)

 “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.

(Romans 12:19 NIV)

I then proceeded to remind God of all the times and events past and present where I struggled and with his help I forgave others or was forgiven my transgression finally I concluded fully satisfied that I convinced Him that there was no way I had any Unforgiveness and He got it wrong!!  Go ahead laugh all you want; there will come a time in your life when you will have a similar irrational argument with God if you haven’t done so already.  I took His silence as His way of apology.  I looked over to my Sister who by this time was writing in a notebook.  I felt resentment of the fact that she was receiving something from God and all I had received was UNFORGIVENESS.


She turned to me and said go ahead and share what God had said to you.  Unforgiveness, I mumbled with that she proceeded to read what God had given her.  You could have knocked me down with a feather as He had given her a Word for me!  At that point God said to me that He was fully aware of the people and areas in my life that have been forgiven but there is still one person that needs to be forgiven.  I tried to rack my brains but was unable to figure out who it was; by now I had enough and wanted to go home.

As we drove home my Sister asked if I was alright; through gritted teeth I said I was ‘fine’.  Suddenly she stopped the car; that’s it she said we’re not going any further until you have dealt with this completely and told me to get out of the car.

I stood there for a while on the side of the road in my disheveled state; traffic passing by wondering what was going on; as I wrestled with the matter.   I felt like Jacob wrestling with God, finally exhausted I asked who I needed to forgive.  I was astounded by His response; YOU He said.  What?!  All the time YOU have forgiven others and I have forgiven YOU; YOU have never forgiven yourself for allowing or your part in what happened to you.  I was overwhelmed by the weight of the Unforgiveness in my heart it felt as if my chest would explode.  With tears streaming down my face, I repented of my unforgiveness and forgave myself and received God’s forgiveness again.   Look up, He said and I saw a flock of birds flying in V formation and He said there your UNFORGIVENESS goes and I felt lightness in my spirit.





I got back into the car and my Sister said that’s better welcome back; Praise the Lord  I was back to my usual self. 
It is important that we forgive ourselves if not it becomes a blockage to the God’s blessing.  It’s time to sing with me:

 I'm accepted, I'm forgiven.
I am fathered by the true and living God
I'm accepted, no condemnation
I am loved by the true and living God
There's no guilt or fear as I draw near
To the Saviour and Creator of the world
There is joy and peace
As I release my worship to You, O Lord